Still Hanging in There

A week and a half into school and I have only had one panic attack! (actually good news). School is extremely overwhelming and I often find myself anxious to the point where I can't focus. Multiple times in the middle of class I lose the ability to comprehend. Better news is that I am starting to finally get ahold of things. A huge and amazing outlet I have begun to use is drawing. I am not much of an artist, I don't really understand shapes or shading or any sort of color scale, but I do love to draw. Almost every day since school started I have had to come back to my room, blast music and drone out all outside sounds and just draw. And after about the hour or so of this all of the knots inside my organs have unknotted. 

Being anxious is something I am used to, so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but I would also like it to not be there. I am working through it and trying my best to get a grip on myself. I could sum up college in one word it would be "overwhelming" but the rest of life will probably be like that as well.

In way better news, everything has been quite amazing. I finally purchased the album Vessel and now it is on repeat. The weather has been super incredible and I have been able to get some good runs in especially thanks to the new tunes.

Here is something I drew the other day:
I don't have a scanner so I had to take a picture of it and it is also edited a little bit because I felt like playing around with it a bit, idea comes from Migraine by twenty one pilots of course.

Just the idea of having to stop thinking for a moment in order to stay sane one hundred percent relates to my recent episodes of anxiety. I just have to calm down an realize that everything is actually ok and will be, realize that the world isn't actually falling down around me.

I have a ton more drawings that I will post eventually, it isn't necessarily a drawing, more of words and corresponding pictures that relay some of my ideas. 

~~~

Let it be said what the headache represents

It's me defending in suspense

It's me suspended in a defenseless

test being tested by a ruthless examinant

that's represented best by my depress...ing thoughts

Migraine