First Week of School

Yay I am still alive! So much has happened in this first week and I am excited about ALL OF IT. It was extremely exhausting but, I am very happy with my classes, all of my professors seem like very good teachers and the classes interesting. It will be way more work than last year but that is to be expected as my journey continues in the college experience. Also, my PSYC teacher is the most adorable person ever and I like that a lot.

Social wise, I happen to be following my own advice! My roommates and I have bonded further and our last minute forth addition is awesome and is weird like us too. Last night we had quite the intense game of catch phrase and watched House and the End of the Street with our neighbors. Everyone saw my true weird side through my competitive outlet, so prayer circle that I still have friends after that :) And today we are hitting up the shopping downtown for fun. I made some new friends that are awesome and it has been ten times easier than last year.

Also still on my Twenty One Pilots high, so enjoy these things that are below:

Photo by Brad Heaton

And a sweet, sweet mother son song by Twenty One Pilots:

Short post but I will definitely have more to say soon.

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My College Advice

My brother happens to be moving away to school, now he is older but hasn't really lived away from home yet. As he transitions from community college to the prestigious UCSD, my parents have asked me to put together a list of things to remember while living away from home for the first time. I thought it would be such a shame to impart my wisdom on just him, so I thought I should make a post about it.

First of all, I was no where near ready to move away from home when I did, I had an extremely hard time transitioning into college life and I still don't have everything figured out. I did learn quite a lot and I am very excited to start another year at Seattle University. Here are a few quick tips to help the move!

1. Time Management. A term that can be used for pretty much every aspect of mental health and social life at college. Remember to take time for yourself, take an hour or so every day to sit and browse the internet, listen to music, watch TV, exercise, or read a book to detox a bit. But also remember not to spend too much time by yourself (a mistake my lonely self made) because it creates a lack of stimulation and makes life kind of boring and miserable when it doesn't have to be like that.

2. SLEEP CYCLE. Probably the most important thing, creating a sleep cycle. You will be healthier and less prone to catching colds and all the fun things that living in the dorms have to offer. Even if you are going to bed every night at 2 in the morning and waking up at noon, that is still way better than having no sleep cycle at all.

3. Activities. Get involved. Something I was also terrible at. And something that I still need to work on, but this year I already have some trips and concerts planned and I intend on going on a bunch of hikes with a school program and just doing more fun things. A lot of people go to new areas to go to school and you might as well take advantage of learning a new city and seeing all that it has to offer. I have moved to the incredible city of Seattle and still find myself bored and miserable when I live in such an incredible place! 

4. Be Social. Don't be afraid to meet people. I had a terrible time trying to make friends at school, a lot of people were complete jerks to me. The best advice I can give to that is to keep trying, not everyone is a terrible human being and once you have a good group of friends, make sure you work on your friendships, being able to have someone to talk to and lean on is a major plus because college is tough and it'll make it that much easier if you don't have to go it alone.

5. Diet. One thing that makes a huge difference in your energy and school performance is what you eat. Now it is really easy to junk out when cafeterias tend to have such terrible food, but it is soooo important to make sure you are getting a good amount of nutrition. If you eat good food, you will feel good as well.

ALSO check out my friend's new blog!
She has a kitten so we know she is ok. And that kitten is adorable so yeah she is definitely ok.

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Twenty One Pilots

I am extremely fortunate to have friends with great music taste. Recently my friend Taylor and her mother visited me at my grandma's and she mentioned a concert that she was interested in. She said I should check out their music and LO AND BEHOLD IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST LISTEN.

So we are officially attending the Twenty One Pilots concert in November :). I could go on and on about all the things I love about their music, the drummer, Josh Dun, can hit the drums astonishingly hard while creating such an incredible combination of sounds to create a gorgeous rhythm. The energy they bring to their music is extremely prominent in their every song and every performance and I am so so so excited to see them live. I made this thing that I like and some other people like it too and this makes me happy:

Scenes taken from "Holding On To You" Music Video

Another thing I absolutely an enamored by is their quirk. They are just so genuinely weird in such a beautiful way that I can't help but love their music that much more. They discuss how joy is different than happiness and that you can still be depressed and experience joy, from a psychological perspective that doesn't really make sense to me based off the meaning of depression, but nonetheless I do think that we can be very sad about something, inescapably temporarily sad, but still experience joy through family and friends while going through a hard time. Also I found this explanation of the band name completely fascinating and just beautiful in a weird way. Taken from the Twenty One Pilots official website.

"Ok so, I (Tyler) was in theatre class and we were studying a play called "All My Sons" written by Arthur Miller in the 40's. It was about a father who ran a company that provided parts for airplanes used in WWII. He then found out that his parts were faulty, so he comes to a moral crossroads:1. He can take the parts back and not send them out, but he will lose a lot of money in a financially tough situation. He would also taint his business and his name and be known as 'unreliable' in his trade. But this would ultimately be the 'right' thing to do. or,2. send the parts out, make the necessary money to provide for his family, not taint his name, etc. He ends up sending the parts out and twenty one pilots died because of it. His son was a pilot in the war who had lost his life. There was no evidence to prove that it was directly related but his daughter blamed her father for her brothers death. He ended up committing suicide at the end of the play. Here's how we make it relevant: I feel like we are all constantly encountering moral crossroads where the decisions that benefit the "now" will have consequences down the road; but the decision that might seem tough and tolling right away will ultimately be more rewarding. What is our purpose for playing music? We are constantly asking ourselves that question. The answer can change all the time, but for right now we are just going to stick with something as simple as 'we want to make people think.'"

I am very excited to see them live and I will be totally prepared to front row this one. Below is another one of my favorite songs of theirs along with the other million I love :)

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We've turned our hands to guns, trade in our thumbs for ammunition,
I must forewarn you, of my disorder, or my condition,
'Cause when the sun sets, it upsets what's left of my invested interest,
Interested in putting my fingers to my head,
The solution is, I see a whole room of these mutant kids,
Fused at the wrist, I simply tell them they should shoot at this,
Simply suggest my chest and this confused music, it's,
Obviously best for them to turn their guns to a fist.

Review: The Fault in Our Stars

I laughed, I cried (a lot), and most of all, I enjoyed. Now it was a phenomenal novel and I would recommend this in a heartbeat but I think I loved in particular because I love John Green's writing so much. I mean MY BLOG IS KIND OF NAMED AFTER ONE OF HIS BOOKS (Looking for Alaska, READ IT).

Most of all this book made me realize a lot of things, and, for one, I have no right to pity. I happen to be a naturally sad person, and I don't think this is a bad think at all I actually like that that is how I am. I instantly need to care for people who need me (heck of a lot of trouble that has gotten me in) but its not like I consider myself a "caring" person. I feel selfish because I have to care for people in order to live with myself. Its like its something I have to do for myself and I have no right to feel good when I do good. Like I don't want people to think I am a nice person, I don't want people to think I am a caring person. Like I just want to be a nurse and I don't want people to think I am a good person because of that. "Oh you want to help people that is so nice, you are so caring and you will be such a good nurse," like no, shut up. I want to be a nurse and I know I will be damn good at it, not because of my personality but because I am intelligent and smart and human. And I feel like non of this is making sense but heck, I am not John Green and ergo my words probably don't make sense but lets be real the only reason I have a blog is because it is my therapy. Yeah, I know, I am selfish. I just want to do what I want in life and I don't want people to have their preconceived notions about who that means I am. Just like everyone sees someone who is sick and has all of these stereotypes already downloaded in their heads. 

Also another concept I kind of understand/learned is the infinity concept. Damn, what a cliché John but it does make sense. And you have to spend you infinities wisely because after a while your infinities will not matter and everything will be oblivion. But, again, damn I seriously need to decide what I want to do with all of my infinities. And I need to find people that want to waste their infinities on me. I don't really have much more to say, I really really enjoyed this book and I am very excited for the movie. Below is a beautiful thing made by this individual with further editing by this individual and it is everything beauty.

Thank you John Green for the amazing book and all of your effort and just everything you have given me, I have been watching you and Hank since the beginning and I am so happy to have been able to learn so much from you both and in turn, I have learned quite a bit about myself.

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Teen Wolf Season 3 *SPOILERS**

So I watched the entire season 3 of Teen Wolf in 24 hours and lets just say, it was all beauty. So of course when this show started the entire world sighed but it has blossomed into quite an amazing show. First of all, I loved the vulnerability of Derek, Lydia, and Styles that was enhanced in this season. I loved the new characters introduced, especially that badass druid that I can't decide if I despise or love. As a huge fan of the Styles, I was pleased with Dylan O'Brien's extremely noticeable increase in talent this season. Also I loved the introduction of a few new species (cough cough BANSHEE) and as soon as my lovely friend wrote an incredible post on the myth of the Banshee I knew what a certain character in the show was. And I just love her so much more now.

I guess I thought I had much more to say about this than I actually am. I JUST LOVE THIS SHOW 110 PERCENT MORE THAN I DID BEFORE AND I AM NOT ASHAMED. The episode right before the finale is probably the most amazing thing ever and is 3/4ths of the gif below and it just has so much sacrifice and love and STYDIA feels going on and even it is just a little is is something and it makes my heart hurt in a good way.

Here is an amazing gif originally posted by teenwof on Tumblr and I just appreciate it so much..

I am super excited for the next season and I have no idea when that is but I just love my summer seasons and I am happy that this show is really amazing now and I hope it'll be around for a long time. I mean not excessively long but I don't think I am ready for it to end any time soon.

Apologies for the extensive fan-girling except I am not sorry. 

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Just Lying in Bed Thinking

So I try and be brave and not terrified of things people are usually terrified about but there is one thing that I cannot escape from. I mean I am pretty good at not being terrified. In general, I do not fear death because once it happens it happens and there is no need to fear something that you don't really have any evidence to judge. I don't fear heights. I don't fear love. I don't fear growing up.

But one thing that absolutely terrifies me is being old. Now I don't care if my youth fades. I know I will have to bury friends and family and that doesn't necessarily scare me just makes me sad. But the state of being old makes my heart pound, my skin gets goosebumps, I literally start sobbing as I am now. One reason why I might be all of the sudden taken by these thoughts is that I haven't spoken or hung out with anyone remotely my age for over a month and my only company is my, now 91 year old, grandmother. And another reason why I might be terrified is that I have to take care of her alone. I don't mind the duties, I love cooking and cleaning and bringing her water and watching football with her but I don't like to be the only other person here. Because then I have to talk to her often, I have to look at her often, I have to make sure she is alive every morning. This feeling of imminence is looming over me and I try not to let it suffocate me but it still utterly terrifies me.

Just the stale look in her cloudy eyes in which used to contain a beautiful shade that are confused by the simplest concepts because she isn't the sharp chemist she used to be. Just the look of loneliest even when she is surrounded by people. The look of a lack of presence because her time is past. I hate having to answer questions over and over and over again because her memory has such a small capacity now that it can only save the most precious memories. I am completely paralyzed by the thought of not being one hundred percent in the world but still being physically present. I am terrified about not being able to see or hear properly. I don't want my grandchildren to look strange to me just because my glasses are out of date. Or not recognizing my husbands voice because I don't have a hearing aide in.  

I really wish I didn't feel this way. I love my grandma so much. I am just happy people are coming over tomorrow so I won't have to be alone and she will have other people to talk to.

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Reason to Love

This will be yet another Our Last Night post. On my way back to my grandma's on the train I discovered this gem of a song (posted at the end). The song is just describing the hopeless feeling after heart break which I have recently experienced. Yes, of course, I was completely devastated and after weeks of reflection on what my relationship really was, a bit angry. I felt like I had wasted my time fighting with someone trying to make something work that really was never going to. Luckily, I had my family and friends "prove to me that love is more than just a tragic catastrophe," (Reason to Love, Our Last Night). I have so many incredible adventures with SO MANY incredible people who have taught me so much about myself, the world around me, and what love really is about! Below is more review of the actual song and band.

 

I am trying to figure out why I love this band so much. I love how Matt Wentworth's (dark haired singer and guitarist) voice is perfectly pitched and incredibly beautiful and his brother Trevor Wentworth's (longer, lighter hair and singer) has more of a rough, convicting voice. Also, on top of that, there voices have similar tones because they are brothers. And ALSO, the guitar, bass, and drum player definitely know there stuff and create such a good flow of music. Needless to say, I am so excited to see them live in November! I have heard tons and tons of people say that they are amazing live. Below is the video for the acoustic version of "Reason to Love" by Our Last Night of course.

Currently watching the first Harry Potter movie with my grandma and Hunter the cat, this night could not get any better.

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So Excited!

Our Last Night is going on tour with Sleeping with Sirens! I have been hoping and hoping that they come to Seattle and LO AND BEHOLD my wish has come true! Saw the tour dates and immediately bought my ticket!  November is already packed with so much fun with the Catching Fire midnight premier, winter camp in Bellingham, trip to Canada, Our Last Night Concert, and I am hoping to get tickets to the 3Oh!3 concert but we shall see. All in all I am super excited for the year to start but I am still reveling in summer and working for my family. I also made a gif-set from the video for their cover of the song Mirrors.

     

 

 

 

 So much to look forward too! And you shall be along the adventure through future posts!

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Crab Pot Bounty

Today my mom and I set out the crab pot rigged with a frozen turkey leg in the hopes of capturing some dungeness crabs. When we first brought the pot up there was no luck, but thankfully, a neighbor in a nearby boat said that in order to attract any crabs we would have to use smashed up clams instead, which he so graciously supplied. When we pulled it up a second time, much to our surprise, there were 8 crabs! One nuzzled their way out right before we brought the pot in the boat but I could tell he/she would have been far to small to keep. 

In Washington State, in order to keep and eat the crabs you catch they mush be male and the shell must be 6 and 1/4 inches across. Out of the seven we had left, 4 were keepers! Now personally I am not a fan of any kind of shellfish but just the feeling of catching something was an award in itself. 

To be completely honest, I think crabs are super creepy and just being in the same boat of a pot full of them makes my heart pound and my skin get goosebumps. The worst torture would be putting me in a small space with a crab. Hunter (the cat) agrees. He inspected the bucket full that was on our back porch and decided that he was in no mood for sushi.

Later my mom cooked them up and I cleaned them and they are all ready for eating tonight! A bunch of family is coming over to the cabin to visit before my parents leave. I am making some homemade pasta for everyone and my mom already made some homemade rhubarb pie (which we may have accidentally had a small taste of this morning..). The weather is perfect and I don't think I am quite ready to say goodbye to my parents yet. But I can enjoy their company as much as possible until then!

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Busy Busy Busy Bee

Welp I have kind of been all of the place these last few weeks. This last week I have been at my aunt's house in South King County working. They have been planning a funeral for my uncle's mother so I came down to clean and take care of the house while they were making arrangements. I went to the ceremony yesterday and it was so nice, a lot of people showed up and even though I never knew her, I could tell she was quite an amazing person.

After the funeral I went back up to the beach cabin to hang out with my mom and dad for the last weekend before they head back down to California for the year. It has been so nice to see my dad while he is up here. Last night we got to stay up and make a fire out on the beach and later discovered bioluminescent bacteria on the tide flat. Pretty much means the ground glows when you step on it and it pretty much feels like you are in the movie Avatar. But I am so thankful that I got this time with both of my parents before school starts. It is also really nice to see my dad on vacation, he works so hard to put me through school and he is such an incredible person.

All this time I have pretty much just been doing odd jobs for family while relaxing for vacation. I am saving up for a trip to Canada that will happen in November. All that needs to happen is me getting my passport (the only thing left in the process is working more so I will be able to afford a passport) and then off to Victoria!

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